A dazed cartoon bull in a Bulls #23 jersey standing alone on a dark court surrounded by basketballs, a scribble of confusion above his head

Est. Never Won a Game

The Bull WhoJust Can’t Ball

Meet #23 — tongue out, eyes glazed, heart huge. He shows up to every practice, bricks every shot, and somehow still believes tonight is the night. Spoiler: it is not.

AIRBALL•0 FOR 47•TONGUE OUT•BRICK CITY•STILL TRYING•MISSED DUNK•0:01 LEFT•NO SWISH•AIRBALL•0 FOR 47•TONGUE OUT•BRICK CITY•STILL TRYING•MISSED DUNK•0:01 LEFT•NO SWISH•

The bull mascot standing in a red Bulls #23 jersey and Air Jordan sneakers on a dark court

The Legend

All Heart. Zero Handles.

Born on a cracked outdoor court under a single flickering light, our bull laced up a pair of Jordans he could barely fit over his hooves and declared himself the future GOAT. The court disagreed.

He can’t dribble. He can’t shoot. His tongue is permanently out and his eyes say he last understood a play sometime in 1998. But he never, ever stops chucking it at the rim — and honestly, that’s kind of beautiful.

Jersey: #23
Vibe: Dazed
Wins: 0

The Stat Line

Numbers Never Lie

We ran the analytics. We ran them again. The results were, historically, not great.

Field Goal Percentage

A season of pure bricks

Airballs Per Game

New league record

12ft

Average Miss Distance

The rim is 10ft

∞

Confidence Level

Delusional, respectfully

The Tape

Career Highlight Reel

Three iconic moments. Zero made baskets. Cinema, frame by frame.

Three-panel comic: the bull gets his shot blocked, chucks up an airball, and leaps for a buzzer-beating dunk he will surely miss

The Block

Got denied by a kid half his size. Kept the tongue out the whole time.

The Brick

Launched it from the free-throw line. It did not come back down near the hoop.

The Attempt

0:01 on the clock, full extension, pure hope. We do not show the landing.

Believe in the Brick

Join the fan club for a bull who has never made a shot but shows up anyway. Merch, missed dunks, and unconditional support.